its been awhile, so here's whats up

so something odd happened to me the other day. without giving out too much info and making this a long sappy story here is what i will say.
i have recently been looking for "long lost" friends. people i went to bible camp with, people i was friends with and lost touch with after highschool. among these friends were ex-boyfriends. just a few in particular.i didn't really think i'd find them. i neglected to realize how many odd memories and feelings this might dredge up out of the depths of my soul.
so. the other night...i "found" my first boyfriend. the first boy i held hands with. the first boy i kissed. the first boy i "loved". suddenly, all these memories flooded my brain, and i felt every single feeling i felt when i was 13 years old. i could remember every letter he sent me, every conversation we held. every picture we took together. now, we had been friends long after we broke up. so it wasn't like this was a bad relationship or anything. hell, we were just kids. but, it was just so surreal. my head was spinning out of control. as the night rolled on, i tried to suppress those feelings again, to bury them as if to keep them safe inside me. i drowned my thoughts in alcohol. now i had tons of fun, and its so great to see him. i just kept thinking, if i talk about this or let this out of me i'll never get it back again. i kept thinking, and my head kept spinnning. after all i hadn't seen this guy in 9 years.
there are alot of odd coincidences in this situation. as we caught up, we found out that his daughter was born on 11-9-00 and my son was born 11-10-00.
we both had life threatening car accidents in 1998, both of us were in the first vehicle we had owned.
he is living ACROSS THE STREET from me, and has been for six months.
i read about him in the paper a few years ago, but didn't know it was him. although i had a 'FEELING' that it was.
he saw me around the same time period as the article, but wasn't sure if it was me ...chickened out and didnt say anything.
he is dating someone very close to me.
my head is still spinning. i can't even believe whats going on. its so surreal. i'm not sure anyone can understand how i feel. i mean i thought i would never see this person again. it's like someone died, and then out of nowhere they are here again.
at the end of the night, my new (old) friend, and my close friend, saw to it that i got home safely. and when i hugged them goodnight... i thought...this is something good. this is a good new thing. and it felt good. the hug felt....good. and i am not sure why. and it kind of scared me. i hadn't touched this guy in over nine years.
now..i'm not saying i am still in love with this person.i LOVE my husband. i could not imagine life without my husband. my family is my life, my world. they are what i live for. what i am saying is that i am very happy for my friend. i am happy we were re-united. i see a chance to gain a good friend back. i just cannot believe its happening.
so much for short and emotionless. sorry.

hmm the time is now

well for the past few weeks josiah has been quite the little stripper. he hates diapers. well more recently he has started pointing at the bathroom and saying potty or peepee...so. i decided to see what would happen if i got him in front of the pot, the next time he did it. i stood him up on a chair, cuz i dont have a step stool for him yet. he started to grunt and groan something fierce... so i said, do you have to poop...well he let me know right there with a big fat NO. i said ok do you want to sit down...NO... so he continues to thrust out his little "stuff" and grunt until he is red in the face when all of a sudden, the most glorious little golden....DROPLET..... lands ...right on the chair. he was proud, so proud...he got down, and flushed the empty toilet. and wiped his peepee. in that order! i was so proud of my little man. i do feel its a bit early but he is determined to be a big boy..so for his birthday i am going to buy him his own throne! lol.