just so you know

i am thinking about you.
you don't know this(and you will probably never read this anyway), but i really care about you. i think about you almost every day. when i see you, i almost have to look away, because the thoughts are so guilty and still so pleasureable.
"it doesn't hurt to look".
are you sure? because sometimes i wonder.
" it adds to the excitement at home"
really? isn't that cheating, if only in your mind?
"you need fantasy's to keep you going, just don't share them with your husband (or wife) because thats when things go wrong."
oops.
is adultry contagious? is it hereditary? it's sin. i know that. is it still adultry even if its just in your thoughts? probably.
i pray every night for God to forgive me of these thoughts and to take them away. but they are still here. why? to make me live in guilt? to deprive me of happiness and contentment? i sure don't understand this. i feel like a dumb highschool girl. ugh!
i don't think i should have written this. i feel sick now.:(