so i've been up for the past two nights. on purpose. but as i sit here all night...trying not to fall asleep my mind keeps taking me back to highschool. of course i've always been the reminiscing type...to ponder about things of long ago. here is what has been bugging me lately. i was a nerd in highschool. i know this. i look at pictures and see it. but what i can't figure out is WHY. why did i allow myself to be that way? why did noone try to help me snap out of it? everyone just accepted it, and did the appropriate highschooler things, like make fun of me. for that i'm not mad. you did what you had to do. its no big deal really, life goes on. highschool doesnt really mean jack-shit. now, i've recently added alot of new facebook friends from highschool. friends, now, not from then. well not all of them were my friend back then. or were they? was i just so incredibally nerdy and dumb that i couldnt realize i HAD friends? i realize that this post is nerdy in itself. i'm sorry. i'd like to know if anyone actually liked me in highschool, if anyone ever had a crush on me. i know i had several crushes, and i'm sure they were all obvious. thats because nerdy girls never hide their feelings. much to the scrutiny of others. but still,i'd like to know.ya know, i still struggle every year at prom-time with sadness about not being able to attend prom. mostly due to my dad's issues with it. but once he finally agreed to let me go to my senior prom, noone would go with me. i was totally crushed. i think i really missed out on something wonderful. now as an adult i get to embarass my children by chaperoning the prom someday. and you best better damn well believe i'm going to go out there and dance my heart out. lol. poor kids. i'll apologize now. i don't really know where i'm going with this, i guess i just needed to type it out. i think i need a good stiff drink. cheers to the nerds.
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